temple photos from korea

I am about to go but thought I would leave these photos here as well as on my other blog, sheltersky! I hope you like them:) Hope to post photos from The Netherlands when I return! Take care!!

gyeobghoeru pavilion -seoul korea

temple located in mt. sorak - korea

changdeokgung palace-seoul korea

Leaving for The Netherlands tomorrow..

Hello everyone! I feel this is kind of random writing to you today and I apologize. In some way, I feel writing about my current affairs is not easy. Perhaps, because I am living out what I am writing and therefore feel that I am too emotionally involved to sort out what all the values are and where all the perspectives are coming from. I hope you understand this rambling.

For the most part of this journey of 'blogging' I have mainly concentrated on my memoirs of my pre-adoption and post- adoption (the early years). Then it happened, in the midst of writing, my past once again came forth into my present. It happened the first time in 2004, when we found my siblings from childhood in Korea and this time, it was my younger brother who was adopted to The Netherlands as an infant.

In some respect, with the past and present meeting each other again, I felt stuck. Upon our meeting, I wanted to share everything here but knew that I was full of new emotions and old that would effect my understanding of what was happening not only to me but to all those involved. With this thought in mind, I introduced our encounter and then quietly left it. To write about the events of your life and of those who share it with you is something you cannot do so freely. It comes with great responsibility and for me, I respect this very much. The way your present life plays out and how it is perceived and later is reflected changes greatly not only once but perhaps again and again. I believe this is very true for many adoptees including my own life. I see this as I have learned of my past and relearned it again as new people and of those from my past come with their memories of a past that we had shared. I am not excluded from this for each stage of my life, I have gone through various understanding and emotions that attached it to the memories of what were once a present thought. In this way, I am right back where I started with this blog. I am writing and letting it take me as I follow. For my reunions and new unions with the people that have come into my life is just that.

Tomorrow, I will be leaving to go to meet my younger brother, Kyung Il, who resides in The Netherlands with his adopted family. In these short weeks, I have gotten to know them a little and am very happy they have welcomed me not only into their lives but to have me at their home! I will be staying with them for the next two weeks. I am very happy and thrilled to have this opportunity to spend time with my new extended family and my dear brother that I have learned of only a few years ago and have found just a couple months ago. I have to say that we have been speaking to one another on a daily basis and it is so nice because he understands and speaks English. I am always saddened that the relationships that I have with my siblings in Korea is limited due to the lack of communication and translation.

I think of fate and how life works out at times. I have longed so long for to reunite with my family that I lost as a child to now have found a new member of the family that speaks my adopted language. In this short time, I feel we understand each other more than my siblings in Korea will ever understand or know. I feel the only way this could change is if one of us learns the others’ tongue. I have felt that it was the distance between us not just the language that separated us since we found we each other in 2004 but now understand more that the language barrier is much stronger and divides us farther.

I wish I could express to my family in Korea how I feel and that I will be meeting my brother but perhaps that will come in time like all things. I will send my eldest sister a note about my visit and hope she will let the others know of this. I also hope that she will try to reconnect with my sister, Kyung Ok. I had lost contact with her about two years ago and am afraid my siblings in Korea had lost contact as well. From what I know, no one really knows why this happened which only leaves me to guess all the possibilities that come with reunions.

So, I will be leaving tomorrow and will check on my blogs while I am gone but will not be writing again for awhile. You can bet I will take lots of pictures and will post when I return! Take care everyone

ROEB's Photoblog and my visit to The Netherlands

I thought I would post this message here as well. I had just posted this on my photoblog, Sheltersky. Hope everyone can visit ROEB's photoblog.  He has a lot on there and going through his archives, found many beautiful poems there as well.

Here it is:
A couple days ago, I had come across an interesting blog called, ROEB. This blog is out of The Netherlands which now holds much interest to me since I had recently connected with my younger brother who resides in The Netherlands. An agency out of Korea helped us to connect about a couple months ago. You see, I was adopted to the States when I was 7 years old and my brother to The Netherlands when he was an infant. Although, I had grown up thinking I was the youngest of five, I have come to learn we are 6 siblings in total. I had found out about my younger brother when my husband and I were visiting Korea on our honeymoon in 2004. We left Korea, not only having found my surviving siblings who continue to reside there but that I had a younger brother living in The Netherlands. If you are interested in reading more about my childhood memoirs and of our meeting, you can go to, Korean American Adoptee Home is Within.

Going through ROEB's blog gives me an interesting perspective of a place that my brother lives and that I will be able to visit next week. To me, it is interesting further because it depicts and gives us a glimps of the mix in cultures that co-exist within Holland. It is a thoughtful site and one that leaves  me feeling more inquisitve and feeling more responsible for how I view the world around me. I wish ROEB much luck with his photoblog and am very happy to have met him here in cyberworld!

Subject: October 3rd: Choosuk Festival and Parade

Hello everyone!

I just recieved this message through Facebook / yKAN October Social Event! It will be held in Manhattan, New York . I don't think you have to belong to the group to go to the Parade but may have to contact the group for their special night event. The contact email is at the bottom of the message I pasted here from yKAN. I will be unfortunately away this weekend but hope some of you can go out and show your support and have fun!

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Subject: October 3rd: Choosuk Festival and Parade & yKAN October Social Event

October 3rd is a busy day for yKAN, as we will be celebrating Lunar Autumn Festival (Choosuk) AND Oktoberfest, all in one day!!

Some of us from yKAN will be going to the Choosuk Festival and Parade in Manhattan before we head out to yKAN's October Social Event at a beer garden in Long Island City. If you care to join us for the Choosuk celebration, meet us at the RESIDENCE INN on 39th Street and 6th Avenue in Manhattan at 12:30 PM. Afterwards, we can head out to Beer Garden at around 3 PM.

Meeting location: RESIDENCE INN ON 39TH STREET AND 6TH AVENUE IN MANHATTAN

Meeting time: 12:30 PM


Korean Festival Venue: 32nd Street between 5th Avenue and Broadway.

Korean Parade will be from noon to 2:00 PM on 6th Avenue from 41st Street to 24th Street.


yKAN October Social Event
In the spirit of Oktoberfest, come join us on Saturday, October 3rd, for a night of food and drinks in an open-air German-style beer garden at Studio Square!

Studio Square, located in Long Island City, Queens, NY is home to one of NYC’s largest and newest beer gardens, having an open-air eating and drinking area with park benches, as well as large indoor areas. Studio Square’s self serve, cash only menu features German and American grill favorites and there are 19 imported, domestic, and craft beers on draft.

Look for our outdoor table at Studio Square starting at 4:00 PM. Eboard members will bring balloons and will be wearing yKAN t-shirts. The venue is accessible by subway by the R, V, G lines as well as the N, W lines.
See Studio Squares’ website (http://www.facebook.com/l/2b69b;www.studiosquarenyc.com) for more information regarding directions and venue info.

What: yKAN October Social Event

When: Saturday, October 3rd, 2009

4:00 PM – 7:00 PM

Where: Studio Square (S²)

35-33 36th Street, Astoria, NY 11103

Who: yKANers and friends

Contact: eboard@ykan.org or http://www.facebook.com/l/2b69b;facebook.ykan.org

chinese adoptee weblog by erin

Through this course of writing and meeting other adoptees, I have met a very special, talented, and interesting individual, her name is Erin. After we had a few conversations with each other I have learned that she like so many of us out here have much to say about adoption and of different aspects of her life. She had expressed to me how she wanted to create a space where other adoptees like herself can go and express what it means to be a Chinese Adoptee. A place for all their voices to come together and unite in one place to share their experiences and resources. It is a place where she hopes the forgotten voices of so many other Chinese Adoptees can be heard and understood. In developing her weblog, she has had conversations with an organization called, CAL (Chinese Adoptee Links). CAL is also trying to unite Chinese Adoptees Worldwide together in one place. It is a work in progress.

What a great idea! I am so happy for my new friend and wish her the best. I know that there are many APs that come visit my site who have adopted children from China, please go check out these sites and let's support them so they can grow and florish. Let's get the word out! I have done my homework as well and she was right. There are not many blogs written from Chinese Adoptees. I see these adoptees coming over and following  Korean Adoptee Blogs so they can come to a place to share and connect. If anyone knows of other Chinese Adoptee blogs, please go to her site and submit the information and please leave it here as well.

We are all adoptees who should be heard and given a chance to connect. It is what we can all learn from each other that will help us to grow and learn more of ourselves.

I have linked the title of this post to her site. The address to her blog is : http://www.chineseadoptee.com/

okay..technical dificulties!

I just wanted to drop a message here and tell everyone that I have now completely lost the message column on the side bar. I am sorry and fustrated that I no longer have your comments there. I tried to find it under gadgets to update it back on there but cannot even find it. If you like to leave a comment, please leave it under individual posts. Maybe I will be able to find it again...Thanks!

Korean Town

Shopping at H-Mart
Today, we made our run to Korean Town to stock up on our Korean food and to escape into Korean land for a few hours. If I think back, I have always tried to shop at an H-Mart at least once a month no matter where I lived. There were times, when younger, my roommate (who was also first generation Korean) and I would drive to Philadelphia, Pennsylvania down South Street to an H-Mart. Considering that this was over two hours drive for us, it would always turn into a day trip. This was perfectly okay with us since we were able to capture a little sense of our childhood every time we went back.

This monthly ritual never left me. Relationships came and went but I made sure that my little trips into Korean land would continue to be a big part of my daily routines. I always figured that whomever I would meet or settled down with would have to learn to eat Korean food and hoped they would like it as much as I loved and appreciated it. I was very lucky! When I met my husband, he could not eat any spicy food nor had ever tried anything outside of basic American classics and fast food. After getting to know me and my love to explore new palates, he quickly came around and now loves Korean food almost as much as I do. As for our children, we never really discussed it but knew that if we continued with our traditions and continue to eat Korean food as part of our daily diet, they would just follow. And sure enough, they have never questioned it. This is not to say that they are not picky about what they liked or disliked but it is not foreign to them. And from introducing the food to them, it led to questions and answers towards who was Korean and who wasn't. And even to this day, my little ones see others that look like me and would say how they all look like another mommy.

These days, our children look forward to shopping in Korean Town and sitting down at our Traditional Korean table to cook Bulgogi or to make Kimbab. When friends come by, they are always amazed how our kids eat this strange food right up. I tell them that for them it is nothing out of the ordinary. For them, they have grown up with this food and know that they are Korean too.

*** This is for my brother in The Netherlands: I have a series of photos I took from our shopping trip today for everyone to get a glimpse of the food they sell. More like the junk food we like to buy and consume. Enjoy the photos!

Things In Threes

I had received a few different request through the Face Book site to complete various types of "Notes" but had deleted them all until I had received one that stated I had to write up a list of the things that mattered the most to me but in Threes. I was going to pass it up once again but thought it would be a good way to describe myself and to reflect on what really does matter in my life. In the end, I found it to be an interesting & fun way for me to look at the things that had happened to me over the years. I felt it was a good way for others to get to know me probably a little more than they had before. Maybe you will try this.


It went like this:

Begin with 3 Names

1.Kyungmee
2. Amey
3. Mommy:)

3 Countries Travelled

1.Korea ( left 1979 & returned 2004)
2.Dominican republic
3. Peru

3 Languages

1. Korean ...once fluent now struggling
2. English...you would think I should know this language better.
3. Spanish...if only Koreans spoke Spanish

3 Engagements...!

1. A***
2.N***
3. My Husband:)

3 Movies that make me smile!

1. My Fair Lady
2. Harvey
3. Being There

3 More Painful Memories

1. Being Adopted (departing my family & beginning a new one..the early years)
2. Finding my Korean Siblings & having to depart from them once again with uncertain future for us.
3. Losing my Father & Sister ( my family here) within months after our Return from my Korean Family Reunion.

3 Wishes that came true.

1,2,&3 ;) My husband & my two children.


3 Things I really enjoy...& wish I could do more often.

1. Paint...always wanted to learn to paint.
2. Love Photography.
3. Love to Dance even if I look crazy out there on the Floor! Love how music and dance can truly touch you in so many ways.

3 Books that provoked & enlighten me in my mid-teens.

1. Maxim Gorky..."My Childhood'
2.Fitzgerald ... "Cities on a Hill'
3.Steinbeck ...'Of Mice and Men' - wasn't a book of my own choosing but had to read this one in school. It had a Dramatic affect on me while reading it one late night. Cried on my Mother's lap for hours...she thought I had lost it ..lol...over a book!

3 Things I think is very cool.

1. The ability to 'control' my dreams whether it is to change scenery, mood or outcome. Especially, when I have reoccurring dreams.
2. The ability to sense 'others' 'spirits' or call it what you will...I have to say I had a couple experiences that were very real.
3. Meditation...I have meditated different times in my life...mainly recreational ( in a gym). The one time I can say that I have felt a sense of separation from my body and yet felt so in tune to my body and my surroundings was when a friend was teaching me how to meditate and understand different levels to meditation.

BREAKING

My List of Memories...

I have compiled a list of some of my favorite memories that I have revisited in my mind over the years. Some of you may recognize them and even remember doing the very same thing as a child. I hope they bring back some of your own memories.

1. Buying candy/taffy pieces from food carts that came through town. Taking the taffies and placing them into ladles to heat them over coal, and twirling the taffy until hardened enough to eat. There were so many kinds of taffies. Some taffies you could press a design out prior to eating when it was in the cooling process.

2. There is Pong Tweegi, the large round popped rice cakes. They spoon a little into a machine that when heated, it expands and releases making a loud popping sound. End product, you have a large round flat popped rice cake with a slight sweet flavor. It is every child's favorite. The Pong Tweegi, we still find in the Korean Supermarkets here.

3. Sweet steamed bean buns. In Korea, I remember carts that came around selling these buns and now, we can go to the Korean markets and buy them frozen or sometimes you can buy them fresh right out of a steamer.


4. Steamed snails. Vendors would come around selling steamed snails in a cone. I remember my father buying them for me on our little walks.

5. Playing marbles the way it should be done. With little dug out holes in dirt and flicking the marble with your thumb watching the marble roll across the dirt to hit another into the holes.

6. Playing with Korean paper dolls. I used to pass these paper dolls every time we were in the market. I remember, one day while shopping with my sister, I slipped a paper doll booklet into another book that my sister had purchased. I remember feeling I deserved the extra booklet since I could not have it any other way.
7. Paper Squares. I cannot remember the name of this game but know that traditionally boys played it. Like origami, you fold the piece of paper until you have a square. Flat on one surface and the other would be the folded side. You are suppose to throw it down trying to flip the opponents piece that is already lying down on the ground. If the other piece flips than you win their piece. I remember running through the narrow streets, climbing up on the walls and flipping them down to win the other players pieces. It was a boys game but being a tomboy I was accepted into their games. We would run through the streets with our bags full of game pieces, showing them off to others, especially, if we collected some interesting ones or big ones.

8. Counting game among girls to see how many babies you will have. To play this game, you must be a girl. What you want to do is take your hand and make a fist. Have your palm side facing up. Then, you want to press down the exposed part of your palm above your wrist until little bumps appear up on top of your wrist. Now count. However many bumps you count is the amount of babies you will have.

9. Collecting shiny buttons. I believe it was when I lived with my foster mother. There were trails that led to some garbage/dirt piles that had many different shapes and sizes of shiny plastic buttons and shiny plastic round discs (Chiclets).

10. Sitting around blowing bubblegum with girls. Listening to my eldest sister crack her gum very loud in her mouth and thinking she was amazing.

11. Sneaking into movie theaters with my girl friend or perhaps, sisters.

12. Braiding leaf stems into each others hair. A memory of my girlfriend and I that I will call Muri.

13. Going to Korean Bath houses with my eldest sister and I believe my nephew when he was only a baby. Remembering how it was an awesome and yet awkward experience. I remember, when you first walked in, you could either go right or left depending on your sex. There was a little square window that sat too high for me to see into. When you walk in, you can see wall to wall tiles with fountains that squirted water out all around the floors and walls of the room. It was steamy and very hot in the room. And yes, everyone was naked.

14. Lining up in front of our houses to wait for the medical van to come and give us our Small Pox shots. Makes it into my favorite memories since it is one that has been discussed a lot in my childhood and had made a scar on my shoulder that appears like a a little heart.

15. I remember walking down a little dirt road that led me down to a small building with a long pole that sat in front of the building. Up on the top of this pole was a Korean Flag. I would sit down under this flag and try to draw the most beautiful Korean Flag. I loved drawing the Korean Flag as a child.

16. Seeing my eldest sister dance to Barbara Streisand outside of her friends house on a clear sunny day. If you stood outside of this house, you could see down the road to where a small overpass met the street.

17. Two American things I knew of and loved prior to coming to the States. They were Wonder Woman and Barbara Streisand.

18. Korean puppet shows, The traditional Fan Dance, and Korean Masks. I can still remember how to hum to the music of the Fan Dance.


19. Dancing in a circle in traditional clothing under the moon (Moon Dance) during Korean Harvest season in the Fall.

20. The Korean New Year (I believe it was the New Year celebration). We dressed up in Korean Traditional outfits and went around knocking on neighbors doors. When they answered, we bowed or curtsied to receive coins.

21. The many ways to properly sit, bow, and speak to show different levels of respect. I revisited this memory many times because of how others here has always found this aspect of my past very interesting. Therefore, it kept this memory very intact. Some interesting differences to point out that was misunderstood when young. First, I used to point with my middle finger out. My mother always became embarassed and would scold me. She did not realize that this was customary in Korea. I did not know I was doing anything wrong back in those days..funny now I think about it. How I used to sit with my legs tucked under me in a very upright position. I sat in this manner to watch TV or talk, etc. People and my family thought I was very strange little girl to sit so different and funny. My sister used to make fun and try to get me to sit like her but I believe I sat in this manner for a few months until I relaxed and began to 'fit' into my families routines. Finally, at night, my mother would tuck me in and she would tell me that when she checked on me at night, that she couldn't tell if I was in the bed . I would stay in one position very still all night long. Plus the fact that I was so little, I did not make any wrinkles in the sheets while I slept. I told her when I was older that perhaps it was because in Korea, we ALL slept together in one sleeping comfortor on the Floor Bed.

22. Traditional way to prepare Kimchee and to cook your food on coal pits.

23. Always tried not to forget the big rectangular fridge size rice containers. We would have one in our home to store rice. At the bottom of this rice storage container was a sifter and a lever to pour out rice. We would go into the market and buy huge burlap sized bags of rice and empty it into this container.

24. I always remembered the Korean Subways. I would tell people here in the States that the subways were very different from the ones here in the States. I could not exactly explain how they were different until we had gone there in 2004.

25. One of my favorite memories was sitting on the steps of a temple and watching the monks pray. I could sit there and watch forever. I was fascinated by them and the sounds that came out of these temples.



26. Eating Dukbokki as a child and still loving it!

27. Korean Playing cards. I had forgotten the name for the cards when I was young but learned the name over the years. It is called Hwa-Tu. Below is a letter I wrote in 2004 to my brother in Korea but it had returned as undeliverable. I never got to send it again but on it you can see my drawings of the playing cards.